From The Onion:

President Barack Obama had such high hopes for America…until he went to Denny’s. Now he’s aiming less for being a world leader and setting more reasonable goals for the American people:

Before we reclaim global leadership, we must first stop eating six sausages and a pound of eggs covered in syrup for breakfast, and we must stop leaving the house in sweatpants.

Is he asking for too much? Would you be willing to give up your mountainous plate of syrup-drenched sausages and eggs? Only time will tell.

(Warning–the following video has some rude language.)